Welcome back to the day of the week I throw my shit in your face. Sometimes it’s a random poem, a random highlight of the lgbtq+ anthology (please check out the submissions page) but today it’s a freebie rant read from the book So You’re Not Supermom….It’s Ok!
Now, I just have to decide which rant to throw at you. Funny since I have so many it’s hard to choose. I think given current days and people constantly saying I don’t know how you do when the best answer is one day at a time. I will pick ………
In Bed, But Asleep?
The day has finally fucking ended!
They have gone to bed!
And finally stopped coming out after
Fifty, I love you’s
Twenty, I need a drink’s
Ten, I have to pee’s
Five, can I have a snack’s
And at least three, come tuck me in’s
Plus the bonus rounds of:
Go see why they are fucking screaming their little heads off at each other when they should be in their actual beds.
They are silent!
They finally went to sleep!
You fucking hope!
So with that bit of hope you lay yourself down.
In doing so because you’re so exhausted from the day, you sleep!
You sleep like a fucking rock!
So much so that you don’t hear the little fuckers getting up in the middle of night.
So you wake at whatever time you have to get up, to situations like these:
Your son sleeping in bed with a batch of banana peels and half eaten bananas. Moshed and mushed everywhere!
The cupboard empty of school snacks. Even though you just bought a hundred dollars worth of them!
The Halloween candy you hide on the top of the fridge down with a chair next to it. Wrappers leading to the culprit!
The fridge or freezer wide open and everything warm or thawed. Get ready to cook all day!
Ten Christmas gifts unwrapped, including yours that didn’t belong to who did it. You cannot repackage with ripped boxes! I tried!
Half of a watermelon on the bedroom rug, mixed with a very large container of heluvagood onion dip and your soup ladle hanging out of it.
Of course with that last one it’s not just on the rug, but the walls, the beds and even the ceiling! Walk out! Just walk out!
Ahhh yes, they are finally asleep!
Or so you fucking thought!
Truth is, they know!
They go silent just long enough for you to relax and enter your dream world!
Then the little fuckers get back up and get into shit!
A lot of shit!
It’s like they can’t help themselves!
Like they were bored or starved all fucking day long!
Even though, you may have
Gone to the park.
Went for two walks.
Fed them three full meals.
Plus fifteen snacks.
It didn’t make a bit of fucking difference.
They still got up!
You will be shocked at what they can accomplish in the middle of the nights when you sleep blissfully.
It’s going to suck when you find out but you will just lose your shit momentarily, then clean it up.
You might do things differently after, like check on them to make sure they are snoring before you go snore.
But that’s what we do!
We learn, we adjust, we keep going, because we still love them.
Because we still need to raise them.
Because they still need us.
So just be there.
In the end, these moments will be cherished.
Words of Wisdom
If you lock it
They figure that lock out
Ahhh yes, sleep still eludes me, between kids, nightmares, tears and stress but I still get up everyday and continue on.
Moms, dads, stepparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins or whoever you are surviving days like these always remember you are wonderful, loving caregivers.
Happy Shameless Self Promo Saturday! Don’t forget to go purchase these lovely, full of shit books!