My ass is running backwards down the fucking hump this week! It’s a slippery fucking slope I can’t grip on to enough to make it over.
That is how it feels. It is one of those days where everything seems to be piling up and my whole life is headed backwards instead of forwards.
I have been trying to find a job I can both qualify for and do with an injured knee again. One that works with the kids schedules, can accommodate caring for my mom and allow me to be available for my daughter who is having severe anxiety and requires a lot of appointments right now. Amongst other fucking life things fucking. This is a fucking futile endeavor all on its own.
My debt amount has struggled and crept to a point now that I am not sure what the fuck I might actually be able to do about it. Not because I spend crazily, just life is fucking expensive and when you have limited income it grasps hard. I don’t want sympathy just needed to vent that shit.
My kids education levels have been declining over the last year and gawd knows I am not a fucking teacher nor am I qualified for what shit they need to do. I have felt hopeless and drowned in this failure even though I tried.
I have been trying new ways to promote my writings, created a fanfuckintastic game and it all seems to be for no reason as well. At this point I am not sure why the fuck I am even trying, honestly, I feel so defeated with it all right now. Like everyone needs something and I don’t have anything left to give.
But all I can do is say FUCK YOU, what the fuck Wednesday! I don’t have time for the breakdown I deserve.