I made it up the hump last week and zoomed so far down, so fast I couldn’t catch up. I was thrown in to the bottom of the depths of self sabotage.
Mental health fucking matters! Let me just say this shit again, MENTAL HEALTH FUCKING MATTERS!
If you or someone you know struggles reach out. Get help and remember you are not alone.
This what the fuck Wednesday is very different from my usual.
Last Wednesday I got a call from my doctor, my pap test had come back and it was not the best news. I am headed to embark again on fighting both cancerous cell change and cancer causing hpv. I have fought this once already a few years back and after about two years of scraping and biopsies I was cleared. Everything was good. So when I got this call again I just sunk.
I not only sunk due to this but the last year has been nothing but bad news after bad news and I just couldn’t mentally pull myself around it.
I completely shut down, I stopped everything I do and just sat within my self, with a million questions that have no answers. Even now there’s no answers for them but as days pass they will show.
With that and the ten year anniversary of my father’s death which is always hard on me. I am still trying to raise enough funds for a headstone and when that idea flopped as hard as it has it added to the fall. It took me a while to realize that I can still make it and I will keep trying.
So this what the fuck Wednesday I am thanking the universe for a break and telling it no matter what it decides to throw at me, I’m a survivor, I have always been and I will continue to be.
What else you got? What the fuck Wednesday cuz I am ready!