It’s Fuck It Friday!

This one is brought to you by the letter S. The word of the day is Sleepless. Yes sleepless as it has been a sleepless fucking night.

Youngest boy refused to sleep last night, up, down, hungry, playing, drinks, bathroom, you fucking name it he had it all covered. To this moment he still has not passed out, I wish I had half his fucking energy. I figured for sure he would be in lala land by now, but nope, his ADHD is strong and going hard since yesterday. I even tried melatonin which usually does the trick except last night.

So fuck it Friday is equal to absolutely nothing getting done and naps!

Oh there will be naps today outside of that my demeanor truly is fuck it!

I have both clean and dirty laundry piled but fuck it. Dishes that require to be unloaded and loaded into the dishwasher but fuck it. Bathrooms that need to be cleaned but fuck it. Meals that need to be cooked tonight but fuck it.

It’s a long weekend and all that shit can wait and food can be ordered, thank god that is still available to me. This mama is on a fuck it Friday roll and I have no shame in it after a long week of work, kids and cooking.

What are you going to say fuck it to on this lovely, long weekend Friday?

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Good fucking morning! It is that wonderful time of the week. You know how I know?

Well, middle of the night last night I woke up to use the bathroom. Really that happens every night, my bladder is not the same after being used as a fucking punching bag through six pregnancies but as I was up I thought all were asleep.

The house was quiet, went to take dogs out and I begin to hear, hellooo, hellooooo, who’s there? The youngest fucking wide awake doing an eerily creepy call into the dark abyss of the house.

Now, I figured if I ignored him he would go back to bed. So I take the dogs out. Turn around in the dark to see his face up against the screen door looking out. Not going to lie, slight fucking heart attack there from the little shit.

Moooom, he whispers, I’m hungry. For fuck sake it’s 1 AM get a snack and go to bed. He gets a snack, goes to bed. Okay, good to go back to bed. Nope.

He then decides to come and make it known he needs a shirt. For real he had a fucking shirt on while asking. There was nothing wrong with it, he just did not want to sleep. Like fuck, I was not about to rummage through laundry it was nearly 1:30 AM now. Finally, I convinced him to go back to bed and went myself.

I hate the half awake, half asleep state it’s bullshit. Next thing I know I am wide awake early! Before my fucking alarm for work! I mean, I love seeing a good sunrise but not when sleep eluded me and I am now back to work.

Now this mama is off to work with bloodshot sleepless eyes and not enough caffeine in the fucking world.

How’s your what the fuck Wednesday?

It’s A Fuck It Friday Giveaway!

Well the week has ended and Mother’s Day is just around the corner. So this fuck it Friday I have decided fuck it, I want to make some other mama’s happy and give them a good laugh at shit. In order to do that I am hosting 3 giveaways for book 1.

Just so you know you don’t #struggle alone in #parenting.

I will choose 5 mama’s

The price of a card!

I am doing it on instagram @ JNSUPERMOM & Twitter @jess38049045 & Facebook @ https://www.facebook.com/jnsupermom/ for more chances…you can click the page names to go directly to them. Go like, share, or comment on the giveaway post to be entered. I will pick 5 from each platform giving more chances. I will draw names tomorrow night May 9 2020 around 6pm mountain time!

Just say Fuck it and enter you have nothing to lose but a chance to win.

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Oh for fuck sake! It’s Wednesday and it started early today. I mean like 4:30 AM fucking early.

Oh what a peaceful sleep it started out to be, until my ears started listening to the world around me. Hate when they do that shit!

Pew pew, take that. Nooooooo! Ahhhhhh! You can’t win. Raaahhhhh clash, smack, boom. You’re dead. Hahahahahaha!

What in the fuck? As my eyes fluttered and I rolled over to the edge of the bed. Plunking my feet on the ground, I grab my robe and head out to the war I can hear happening.

What do I fucking find? My youngest, playing battle of the guys, what the fuck, it’s 4:30 in the morning!

But I am not tired. I want to play. Can I have a snack? I am hungry.

Are you fucking kidding me? No it’s not time to play, grab a snack and get your ass in bed! Go to sleep for the love of all sanity! Or at least my fucking sanity!

Marched him upstairs, grabbed a snack, put him in bed. Then you know how it goes, you climb back in bed, laying there sort of awake and sort of asleep but neither really fucking happens.

6:45 rolls around, hubby’s alarm goes off, ugh, get out of bed again, haven’t even made it to the coffee maker yet and the fucking cat pukes all over the floor. Fuck me!

Of course dogs are nasty shit and love to eat it, so trying to keep dog away from the vomit pile while getting the paper towel and cleaner was fun. Walk backwards, point finger, repeat no. Ugh! Clean it up, dog sniffs around looking for morsels of vomit, nasty creatures.

Someone bring me some fucking coffee extra espresso shots, PLEASE. It is going to be a long what the fuck Wednesday!

Marketing Monday!

Being an Indie Author is fucking hard work, we all put every bit of us into doing what we can. We are shameless, it’s fucking exhausting.

Therefore, you need to take advantage of things when you can. I came across a wonderful tweet the other day from Keisha Jones with Hunny Goddess Media who was looking for some Indie books to read on her story time platforms. She has done two sections of my book for free. Yes, free, which is fucking fabulous.

She offers to read a teaser of your work to help expand the audience and interest. If you’re looking for some support you can get in touch with her at hunnygoddessradio@gmail.com or http://www.eclecticallybalanced.com

She is a lovely person. While you’re at it you can check out what she has read of mine here and here.

Hope some of you find this useful and get in touch with this amazing lady. We all need to support each other however we can.

Shameless Self Promo Saturday!

Here we are, Mother’s Day is coming and you want something extra fucking special! Well why not give her the gift of knowing she is not alone struggling to raise kids. So You’re Not Supermom….It’s OK! Rants of a foul mouthed mom is a fabulous little read to do just that.

Today’s excerpt is from Volume 2 on pre-order now, releases May 16th. Each Volume is only 99 cents on kindle. Cheaper than those flowers and cards your think might be good.

Are those clothes clean?
Laundry, a war nobody can ever fucking win when they have children.
You might get to the bottom of the pile but the second you turn your back?
BAM!
It’s right back up there, like you didn’t just wash ten fucking loads of the shit!
The most important question to ask about the clothing your kid wears?
Are they clean?
Yes, you want to make sure that the shit you are putting on or using is in fact clean.
My house is absolutely fucking famous for mixing the freshly washed laundry with the nasty shit they just rolled around in all day!
But when you find something clean well it might not actually be fucking clean!
Just the other day I took a clean towel out of the laundry, it looked fresh and smelled fresh.
Yes, I smell the clean laundry!
I have animals and kids!
I need to make sure that shit is clean!
Anyway, I took it out, had my shower and as I was drying off with it, I could see spots of glitter on parts of my body.
No choice now but to finish drying with it.
I’ll be damned if by the end of it, I didn’t look like a fucking unicorn who doused themselves in fairy dust!
That shit was head to toe on me and I sparkled in the sun!
It was ridiculous!
I’m pretty sure it was washed with something of my daughter’s.
You know one of those super cute outfits that sparkle and look all girlie?
Yah, one of those fucking things!
Anytime you reach into those nice clean clothes just make sure they are clean!
It might be glitter filled, dirt filled or food filled, you just never know what you’re going to get.
Don’t stress though just throw it into the dirty pile you tried washing earlier!
Then reach in and grab something else!
Just keep on going until you find something actually clean.
Why?
Because you can’t and won’t win against laundry.
It will always get mixed up!
It will never fucking end!
As long as you and them go out smelling and looking clean in what you have on, then you have won that battle!
That’s all you needed to do!
Just win that moments battle!
Because the war on laundry can’t be won.

Words of Wisdom
Even if it looks or
smells clean
Does not mean it is

If you made it the end of this thank you!

Get Volume 1 here

Get Volume 2 here

As well a go fund me is raising funds for my dear friend, please share any all support here

Friday Friendship!

Okay lovely people of the world. I would ordinarily do Fuck It Friday but today is different.

As I mentioned a few days ago in memory monday post a very dear friend of mine had to do the most heartbreaking fucking news to her babies. Their father passed away suddenly at work of a heart attack.

Now she is left to raise 3 kids (15,13,10) on her own and assume all the financial costs for funeral, and whatever else comes her way.

I know the world is a shit place right now and things are fucking falling apart for so many. All I am asking is that you at least share this for me. Please I am fucking begging you. She is the most wonderful amazing person and without her I would not be where I am today.

This woman does so much, she needs a hand up. Thank you to any who share, donate, send messages whatever.

You can view the go fund me page here.

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

This mornings what the fuck Wednesday is brought to you by, interruption! Ah yes, they love to just come and mess around. At least today it was a good laugh!

I get up early, like five or six in the morning early, I like my fucking coffee with silence and meditation. I do this purposely as my kids are lazy little shits and typically sleep in since there is no school. Of course it did not happen this morning because it is fucking Wednesday!

Smack dab in the middle of meditation the eleven year old wakes, of course, why not? She can’t control when she gets up but she could control bugging me. She just fucking chooses not to. So there I am coffee in hand, trying to do my meditation in peace and she starts talking. As if I can hear a fucking thing, I throw my hands up at her to say so.

All of a sudden she starts acting out ques for charades, okay, this is can do lol. So as she goes along, arms up, arms down, shake yes, shake no, I can not help but start laughing. She gives me the snobby ass preteen look and heads to the kitchen counter. What the fuck for is funnier than shit!

As I watch her, she begins reading the labels of the cleaners I left there. Scoops one up, reads another, scoops that one up and by the time she is ready to head back to me her arms are full. I mean she had like four fucking products, I couldn’t help but giggle!

Walking back to the couch, her arms full, I pause my music and snap photos, yes I am that mom!. She starts setting them down, she begins pointing out certain letters on each, well fuck me! I was laughing so hard at how she went about this there was snorts, tears and fucking laughter for a good ten minutes.

Then I realize three things, first off I should teach her some word scramble she could’ve just used one product bottle, second that girl really needs to work on her spelling and third I need my kids back in school so that I don’t have to teach her either of those fucking things.

Once I figured out what it was, she threw herself back on the couch looking like she had just run a fucking marathon! Then pleased with herself for getting it done and me laughing so fucking hard, she went back to bed. Oh man this is gonna be a long ass year!

I can’t wait for the others to get up, I can only hope they are as entertaining on this What The Fuck Wednesday as she was.

It’s A Monday Memory Day

Alright, this one might slap you hard in the feels, make your eyes tear or cause you to reminisce on something that really fucking sucked.

This past weekend I was reminded that life is short, too fucking short for some. My very good, loving, amazing friend had to tell her children their father passed. All I want to do is go hold her until the pain she feels subsides, to wipe her tears and just fucking be there and I can’t. It kills me, so I am going to do what I do best and share my writing.

I wrote the piece of poetry below around the nine year mark of the loss of my father. I hope that it can be related to for anyone who has suffered through such an event. It’s not fucking easy.

Dreams of those lost
are how they come back to us
As i walk among the silent grounds
Passing all the etched polished stones
I look for you left unmarked
A secret path only in my heart
The trees above shading us
I lay myself down to a rest
Seeking solice atop the grass
I have but only one thing to ask
Please come back just one more time
I miss your guidance in this life
I need you now more than ever
I want just one more day together
A single kiss and hug goodbye
An embrace only you can provide
Just once more to hear you say
I love you my angel, you’ll be okay

Tell the people you love that you fucking love them while you can. Time is not guaranteed to any of us. Make the best of it.

Shameless Self Promo Saturday

Well it is that time people to shamelessly self promote your shit! I have decided to give you a ranting glimpse inside the wonderful bullshit of raising kids from So You’re Not Supermom…It’s OK! Rants of a foul mouthed mom Volume 1.

Let’s be honest the crap you download from the book previews online fucking suck!

Do Ends Meet?
One of the absolute hardest, most defeating parts of raising kids is making ends meet!
You rob Peter, fuck Paul because the kids need to eat.
You rob Paul, fuck Peter because the kids are sick.
You take a loan to pay a loan to get another fucking loan because the utilities are going to be disconnected.
You beg, borrow and steal in every way possible just to realize you’re fucked for another month.
You stand in line at the food bank hoping you don’t run into anyone else you know because your shame and guilt of having to be there is too much.
You stop eating most days and lie to your children that you’re not hungry to ensure they are full before you even go near what’s left on the stove.
You go to bed stressed and crying and you wake stressed and crying not knowing where you’ll find the cash.
You feel like shit while you do it because you feel like you have to.
Yes this is making ends meet in the life of raising kids.

It is all perfectly fine!
I fucking dread bills! Those bastards get paid and by the time that happens the next bastards need to be fucking paid!
Well guess what world?
MY ASS IS NOT A BANK MACHINE!
I CANNOT JUST SWIPE AND PULL!
If you have kids that all made sense and if don’t have kids yet, well it will when you do.
I’m starting to believe nobody ever gets ahead on these things, they never end, they just keep fucking coming!
The good news is since bills will always be there it’s perfectly fine to rob one for the other!
To skip that payment for what your child needs.
To rob a bill just enough to get the little buggars enough food to eat the following month.
The reason?

You put that little human being first!
You are still providing what they need when it’s needed.
You are still a great parent even though you don’t feel like it.
You made it work!
You made it another day, week or month without the kids having to starve or continue to be sick or whatever.
You can now rest easy for a bit knowing all this.
Don’t forget it was you!
You beautiful parent!

Words of Wisdom
Money can’t buy everything
It only buys wants, not needs

If you made it this far down the page feel free to shamelessly drop your Saturday Self Promo Shit! Then share it, follow, and repeat! If you found this crap as good as I do you can snag it for $0.99 here or free on kindle unlimited.

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