It’s Fuck It Friday!

I typically have an abundance of fucks to give for this but this Friday? Fuck no! I have one, one fuck to give,so if you need it, you can only borrow it.

Please return to sender, after this morning, I may need to reuse that shit! Or you have one I can borrow, I will reciprocate it when mine replenish.

I went to step out of bed this morning and fuck me, I can barely put pressure on my leg. It has officially got bad enough again I’ve had to say fuck it and going to make an appointment for it to be checked.

I also woke feeling like death warmed in the fucking microwave on repeat for far too fucking long. Why is that as I age shit just feels more painful? I don’t like it. Fuck it, I will be laying down with heat and not moving unless I have to pee. Which is like every twenty fucking minutes. Ugh aging sucks!

I walked into a fucking door. Yup, that’s right! Underestimated the width of how far I opened the damn thing, it hit my foot as I lunged forward and fucking smoked the side of my face! I’ll be lucky if it doesn’t give me a black eye! So, fuck it! Tylenol and rest it is.

The youngest refused, absofuckinlutely refused to change his clothes this morning before school. With everything that had already happened, I threw my hands in the air, fuck it! That’s right! He went to school in the same clothes. I have to pick my battles carefully today.

Ohhhh fuck it Friday, we are on a roll today, the only good thing so far is the drive thru didn’t fuck up my coffee. Thank fucking gawd, I need that shit!

To all the things I may have needex to do, FUCK IT! I will be chilling and doing nothing just so I don’t end up killing myself today trying to accomplish things. So far it’s working.

Happy Fuck It Friday!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

I’m late, I’m late for a very important day! The what the fuck Wednesday hump day!

Well, better fucking late than never! It’s been an insane week but a gentle day today! Thank gawd I was able to just coast along this hump day.

Emotions have been running high all over the place, I miss my baby who is still in Manitoba, which is extremely hard but I know it’s best for him. Teenagers and preteens have been raging with hormones too. Is there a universal bunch of shit? It seems to have chilled a bit now. Phew!

I got up super early today, had coffee in peace and fucking quiet. Took my sweet ass time getting out the door to do drop offs before getting kids to school.

Shit, even my youngest wasn’t an asshole this morning, he actually slept last night. Woke in a decent mood, took his meds and got out the door without too much fuss! What The Fuck! This almost never happens.

I just woke up from a decent little nap, I still feel exhausted and drained but it definitely helped for functioning purposes, I might actually fucking make it to bedtime now. I hope.

Here’s to a less chaotic, stressful what the fuck Wednesday! Sometimes you just gotta do nothing to be able to do everything! Mental health fucking matters!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

My ass is running backwards down the fucking hump this week! It’s a slippery fucking slope I can’t grip on to enough to make it over.

That is how it feels. It is one of those days where everything seems to be piling up and my whole life is headed backwards instead of forwards.

I have been trying to find a job I can both qualify for and do with an injured knee again. One that works with the kids schedules, can accommodate caring for my mom and allow me to be available for my daughter who is having severe anxiety and requires a lot of appointments right now. Amongst other fucking life things fucking. This is a fucking futile endeavor all on its own.

My debt amount has struggled and crept to a point now that I am not sure what the fuck I might actually be able to do about it. Not because I spend crazily, just life is fucking expensive and when you have limited income it grasps hard. I don’t want sympathy just needed to vent that shit.

My kids education levels have been declining over the last year and gawd knows I am not a fucking teacher nor am I qualified for what shit they need to do. I have felt hopeless and drowned in this failure even though I tried.

I have been trying new ways to promote my writings, created a fanfuckintastic game and it all seems to be for no reason as well. At this point I am not sure why the fuck I am even trying, honestly, I feel so defeated with it all right now. Like everyone needs something and I don’t have anything left to give.

But all I can do is say FUCK YOU, what the fuck Wednesday! I don’t have time for the breakdown I deserve.

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

It’s what the fuck Wednesday and a hump day that just keeps going uphill! The bullshit struggle is all too real.

I’m late to my own fucking ritual post too. Because you know it’s been a fucking day!

I thought it was going to start out ok, I was up on time, had coffee and then I realized the time. I hadn’t got dressed, hadn’t packed lunches, hadn’t brushed my teeth, nothing I had done nothing and it was time to leave the house.

So I ran around like a fucking chicken with my head cut off, got out the door in five minutes in order to drive hubby to work, then back to get kids ready and to school. The girls were mad at me for making them go, the youngest was an asshole and another didn’t like the idea of it being too cold for just a sweater. He’s a preteen, junior high next year and attitude like he’s thirty some days. By the time that was done I was already giving exhausted.

Then, I had to be job hunting! Has anyone tried to fucking look at jobs these days? Cuz I’m telling you I’m not qualified for any of that shit. It gives me a stress ache. You know a headache from fucking stress!

I just got the boys from school and holy fucking hell, my youngest refuses to not scream. I’m not talking a nice little tiny scream, I’m talking blood curdling, bust your fucking ear drums shit! All because he wanted to see if he could get loud enough that human ear can’t hear it! My ears can fucking hear it, guaranteed.

I still have to pick up hubby, cook supper and survive until bedtime. Someone bring coffee, with alcohol in the shit!

Fucking hump day! What The Fuck Wednesday, when are we going to get along! Mom is losing her shit!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Starting off with a big fuck you Wednesday! Like for real, what the fuck?

I got woke up every two fucking hours last night from my dogs. Apparently there was a skunk out there, plus side, neither of them got sprayed. Phew! That shit is nasty, I’ve dealt with that already.

Then, I get up and the dog tore up the fucking recycling, it was everywhere. I hadn’t even gone to make coffee yet. Got that shit cleaned up. Is it over?

Ok, one coffee had, made the boys lunch, got his meds laid out. Head to get dressed, come back up, meds spilled everywhere. Fuck! Redo time.

Youngest wakes, Holy fucking hell. He is a miserable little shit today. He is also on two extra meds for antibiotics as his ear got stitched back together friday. He is not a fan of liquid meds, at all. It’s near fucking impossible to have him take them. Over an hour to get them down and in the middle of him fucking around to take them, he spills a full litre of iced tea on the floor.

I mean it was up the fucking walls, the coffee table, across the entire living room. Like it fucking exploded. So, clean that up, meds in, late for school! Fuck!

I still have to get groceries, but wait! I don’t have my fucking card to do it. Of course I don’t because it’s what the fuck Wednesday! Finally get the card, now I have to pick up my mom and take her to five fucking stores!

Yes five, don’t ask why, it’s just how she shops! It’s exhausting, I’m fucking exhausted and it’s only nine in the fucking morning!

Fuck you, what the fuck Wednesday, fuck you!

Thanks for coming to my bullshit rant! Hope your day is great!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Whoop, whoop, humpety, hump, hump, humpety, hump, hump, look the fucking ride up! It’s the mid week roller-coaster ride everyone wants off!

Or at least I fucking want off of it!

This morning was a quiet, yet rushed feeling morning. Not sure why, I woke on time, the kids weren’t complete assholes. I even got coffee brought to me.

But, for whatever fucking reason, everything I go to do seems to either take too long or time is flying by too fucking fast. I haven’t figured out which one it is yet. Either way it is bullshit. I am going to have to adjust what I do or allow more time for the tasks. Right now though I am doing neither haha.

I did decide I need to stop raising smartass kids though. I went grocery shopping, spent four hundred and fifty dollars, came home put it away and stated the youngest better not come home and say there’s no food today. He has a habit of that. Oldest goes downstairs comes back up, “hey mom there’s no food” then laughs like he’s funny as he heard exactly what I just finished saying. Fucking smartass.

Daughter needed help with science homework. Asked her to explain, she did. Ok, she asks which element is easiest to research. I said element from what, the periodic table. Her response, “no from cheese” with a shit eating grin on her face. Hahaha, fuck she’s funny. In my defense their are many elements like earth, fire, water, air, damn kids.

I guess if I’m going to teach them smartass ways I should always expect it back. Honesty is the best policy, right? I mean I teach them if you got shit on your mind say it. But come on!! Smartass little shits.

Maybe I’ll just hide today, for a bit. Take a nap, relax, and ride up the what the fuck Wednesday with ease.

Happy hump day!

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

But it’s not a normal what the fuck Wednesday. It’s one of what the fuck in the universe shifted to bring a semi normal and manageable hump day.

Typically I’ve got shit to bitch about and other than being up at five in the fucking morning today, today is one of love.

As I was getting ready with my oldest daughter, I stated that maybe I’ll due my hair. I have a bunch of grey but it suits in the middle when it’s up and the rest hides. So, she tells me, mom you’re almost in point for the trend. I ask her what would make it on point. To which she replies, well if your hair is down and there’s a stripe on both sides then you’re trendy! Well fuck me! It does do that, so she says I’m trendy. So now for two reasons I might just leave.

First, to show my daughter that natural beauty is beautiful and second, I am mother fucking trendy as shit! Hell yeah. Lol

I had to take my girls to Walmart this morning, the older one needed a shirt for her grade nine grad photos and the younger one some school shit. So I’m walking around with the youngest, sweating to fucking death from my coat and when I pipe up saying I’m hot. She then pipes up, yes you are! Well damn, I can’t argue that fucking shit. So I did the mom aweeee and told her how much I love her.

The youngest boy was in a great mood this morning only said fuck once as the older boys bugged and didn’t fight to get to school. In my books that’s a fucking.

Soooooo, what the Wednesday? I love your ass today because today, I am one got ass mama who is fucking trendy and has a boy that behaved!

Happy fucking hump day, hope yours is an easy one.

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, fuck that I am going to float today! This hump day is going to be long and trying. I know this already. How?

Well, let me fucking tell you. I got up at five, yup, no real reason just wide awake. That’s clue number 1. Fuck I need more coffee.

I had twenty, no word of a fucking lie, twenty emails this morning. Of what? Well downloaded games on amazon of course. See when my kids download on their tablets I get an email for each one, even when they are free. Clue number 2. Who the fuck did it?

The youngest! Just after making my first coffee that little shit came strolling out of his room. Mom, I’m hungry and can I have hugs? Fuck! Have you fucking slept? Yeeaaahhhh, as his head lowered to gaze the floor. Clue number 3.

Liar, he was fucking lieing, that’s what he does when he lies. He has been up all fucking night! I can still hear him playing wars with his guys in his room. Shoot me, just shoot right fucking now! Clue number 4.

This kid cannot function in a demeaner that is manageable without sleep, I have been here before. Not to mention yesterday the whole online schooling shit was a fucking bust and I promised his teacher he would participate today when she emailed me why he wasn’t there. Clue number 5.

So, now I’m supposed to force an ADHD, DMDD, ODD kid with educational learning ailments, who has not fucking slept in twenty-four hours to sit in front of a fucking computer for at least eight? Either the teacher will be insane or I will by the end of it and my fucking money is on me! Clue number 6.

Wow, isn’t the mom version of clue so much fucking fun. Who will lose their shit first? How did it happen? What was the reaction of choice? Someone should fucking make this version it is sounding fun.

What the fuck Wednesday? I thought we were becoming friends? That we had an understanding? That 2021 was going to be our new beginning to being kimd to each other? NO?

Well, fuck you then! I’m going to mutter my way through the hump with a fucking extra large coffee in hand.

It’s Fuck It Friday!

This is just fanfuckintastic! It’s 2021, it’s Friday and I get to say fuck it on the very first day of the new year! How fucking perfect is this? Well, for me it is absofuckinlutely more perfect than anything else.

So far the kids are all still asleep and I actually got to sleep in. Until nine! Some real universal shit is happening right now and I am in fucking love with it!

I have heaps of laundry that have piled up due to renovations in the basement. Ask me if I care, for real go ahead and ask, I’ll tell you, fuck it! That shit can wait another day, it isn’t going anywhere.

Half of my basement is still in complete disarray, shit is everywhere. I mean tools, chunks of this, chunks of that, some other odds and ends too. Do you think I’m going to go pick that shit up? Nope, fuck it! I’m still renovating so what’s the point in that.

My kitchen has become a catch all. It catches all the things everyone walks by and drops there. We have dishes, empty shopping bags, books, leftovers on plates (fucking lazy kids don’t scrape them) and recycling. Fuck I don’t think that’s all of it but fuck it! I’m sure nobody else will pick it up or put it away so whenever I get to that shit is when I get to that shit.

Damn! My coffee is empty, the house is silent and my fuck it list is on a fucking roll. Progress! What a way kick off the the day! It’s time to say fuck it, refill me java cup and do…

Absofuckinlutely NOTHING!

May your Friday be full of fuck its and relaxing! Go ahead take the day off. All that shit is going to be there tomorrow.

It’s What The Fuck Wednesday!

Not only is it what the fuck Wednesday, it is officially the last one of 2020. Congradu-fucking-lations! You made it through the year of hell upon hell hump days doing you wrong! No? Alright well I survived them doing me wrong!

Looking back through the last year of hump days has me fucking laughing. There have been fun ones, trying ones, sad ones, happy ones and some seriously fucked up ones! I wouldn’t change the shit for anything.

Except todays this is a doozy of a day already! Four a.m. massive migraine and neck tension wake up. Well good fucking morning! Let it follow with some nausea and coffee not going down so well. Why the fuck not!

Daughter comes out slamming cupboards and doors to make food at eight a.m. Yup, let’s just ring my fucking ears and make my head throb a bit more! I swear the more she tries to be quiet the louder she really is!

The youngest hasn’t even woke yet, thank gawd! I am hoping this bullshit eases before that happens or I’m going to be stuffing my ears with tampons! I don’t own ear plugs ok. And tampons actually work fanfuckintastic to muffle shit down.

Ohhhhh what the fuck Wednesday, maybe next year you won’t be such a bitch. I’ll find out in about seven days!

Until next year everyone! May your Wednesday do you right! Or at least make it fun!

Thank you all for reading, supporting, commenting and following my bullshit. Much love 😘😘 Hope to see you and more in 2021!

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