Well Holy fucking hell. It’s been a while since I’ve released a good day of fuck its! Almost a fucking month actually.
Today is my last day country living. As sad as I am to go back to the crappy ass city, I am so excited to see my babies. The ones without fur and the ones with fur. Fuck it, I might just cry because I can. I hate city living but fucking love my kids.
The daughter has been on such a fucked up sleep schedule for a while. I have no idea how I’m going to fix that shit. Fingers crossed when we get back it will level out. For the last day here fuck it, I’ll deal with it tomorrow.
I have almost officially finished all my Christmas shopping! What a fucking gong show that shit was. Order from here, order from there, check tracking after tracking. Today the last package should arrive, thank fuck. If anything got missed fuck it, they can get it next year, I am so over the shopping.
I know it’s early still but I decided fuck it, I’m going to share my rendition of Twas The Night Before Christmas, I just love this shit so much. It is perfect for the shopping season.
Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a thing made noise
Not even, old creaky floors
When all of sudden…..
Stoned, drunk and full…..
In comes santa from the party before!!
Flopping face first onto the couch
Saying please god, no more!
He looks over at his tree
F*ck he forgot his family!
The morning would suck
Going out to pick sh*t up
Hungover over as f*ck
The alarm clock struck
He heard a high pitch beep
And rolled back over to sleep
But dammit, he cant!
Now where the f*ck are his pants
Tripping as he ran out the door
He just had to find an open store
No coffee in hand
Thinking fck this sht man!
Pushing and shoving in lines galore
All to please those who care no more
When does it end? When can he rest?
Maybe when under the tree has no room left!
Merry Soon To Be Christmas Everyone xoxox!
Rants of a Foul Mouthed Mom 